Quotes

Featuring: A selection of quotes taken from your favourite Sweet Valley books and characters!

Sweet Valley Twins

Sweet Valley Twins #12 Stretching the Truth

"Oh, Lizzie, I wish you and I were in the same jewellery class. I could sure use your help", Jessica said, rummaging through her closet.
Watching from the safety of the bathroom doorway, Elizabeth giggled as the tornado of clothes blew across her twins' room. "I don't need to be in your group to tell you what to work with Bruce Patman. I know for a fact that green is his favourite colour-money green."

Sweet Valley Twins #27 Teamwork

"I was just thinking of making some chocolate chip cookies," Jessica said. "Want me to make extra so you can take some to school tomorrow?"
Steven looked at her suspiciously. "What do you want this time, Jessica?"
"Why, Steven," Jessica said innocently. "What makes you think I want anything?"
"Because your name is Jessica Wakefield."

Sweet Valley Twins #33 Elizabeth's New Hero

"Do you have any brothers and sisters?" Elizabeth asked.
"I have two sisters," Cristoph said. "Gretchen and Ingrid." He passed Elizabeth another photograph.
"You're lucky they're not twins," Steven joked. "Twins are twice as much trouble."

Sweet Valley Twins #56 The Wakefields Strike It Rich

"Wow, a hundred dollars," Mandy said.
"You can buy a lot of stuff with that," Kimberly added.
"Not really," Lila said. "I mean, it's not really enough for a shopping spree."
"It's not?" Mary asked.
"I could spend a hundred dollars in an hour," Lila said.
"Yeah, but that's because you practice," Jessica replied.

Sweet Valley Twins #57 Big Brother's in Love!

"Let's go downstairs. I promised Jessica I'd take a group picture of the Unicorns. They're having a meeting downstairs," Elizabeth told Amy.
Amy groaned. "It's not for the paper, is it?"
Elizabeth giggled. "No, it's just for fun. I thought I'd try my talent on human subjects."
Amy giggled. "Since when are the Unicorns human?"

Sweet Valley Twins #60 Ciao, Sweet Valley!

"But your room is such a mess," Elizabeth argued. "There's not an inch of space to put a cot."
"I can fix that," Jessica said. "I'll clean things up. I'll even do my laundry. That way there'll be plenty of room."
"Amazing," Amy muttered.
"In-credible," Steven said, rolling his eyes.

Sweet Valley Twins #61 Jessica the Nerd
"What about me?" Winston asked. "I'm in SOAR! and I'm a member of the Boosters. Why aren't you worried about me ruining your reputations?"
"You've already ruined our reputations, Winston," Janet joked.

"It's called Magic Mud," Jessica explained. "It's part of the new Earth Tones line." "It contains genuine mud. And it's a blusher, lip gloss and eye shadow, all in one."
"Maybe it's the lighting in here," Mandy said with a smile, "but it looks awefully brown to me."
"Why don't you just go out in your backyard and eat a little dirt?" Ellen teased. "You'd get the same effect for free!"

Jessica shook her head and sighed. "It's easy for you to say, Elizabeth. You're not a Unicorn. You don't understand what I'd be giving up if I dropped out."
Elizabeth nodded. "It would be a tragic waste of all that purple clothing in your closet."

Sweet Valley Twins #76 Yours for a Day

Lila grinned. "Winston, I am very pleased to announce that your servant will be Miss Janet Howell."
"Urgh," Janet groaned.
Winston walked over to Janet and looked down his nose at her. "Do you have any references?"
"References?" Janet replied. "What are you talking about?"
"I want to know if you're qualified to be my servant," Winston said in a snooty voice, trying not to laugh. "Would you please give me a copy of your resume?"
Janet narrowed her eyes and glared at him. "Would you please disappear?"

Sweet Valley Twins #90: The Cousin War

"What are you in such a bad mood about?" Elizabeth asked.
"Guess," Steven grumbled.
I bet he got turned down for a date tonight," Jessica said knowingly. "And he's depressed."
"No, I didn't get rejected, Einstein," Steven said.
"Well, it's only a matter of time," Jessica said, tossing back her blond hair.

Sweet Valley Twins #91: Deadly Voyage

"Good old Bruce," Aaron said, leaning against the railing. "You always know what to expect from him: a lot of hot air."
Elizabeth grinned. "Too bad were not on a sailboat-Bruce's bragging could keep our sails filled all day."
Maria and Amy laughed.

Sweet Valley Twins #113: The Boyfriend Game

"I see that Elizabeth Wakefield has volunteered to be our official photographer. Mr. Clark would like to everyone to gather on the front steps at lunchtime today for the picture," Mr. Davis said.
"Today?" Lila exclaimed. "But I'm not dressed for a picture today!"
"Oh, no!" Aaron called out, pretending to be upset. "Quick, call the mall and have them send over a truckload of the latest fashions!"

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #2 Holiday Mischief

Jessica let go of her parents and ran over to hug her brother. Steven hugged her back.
"Quick, take a picture," Elizabeth told her father. "Or no one will ever believe that this happened."
Everyone laughed and Steven turned red. "I was just trying to be nice."

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #4 The Unicorns Go Hawaiian

"I left out the most shocking part of the story," Janet whispered.
"That is already pretty shocking," Ellen said. "I mean, a Unicorn from Sweet Valley turns out to be a princess from Hawaii...." She shook her head. "Of course, you have always has sort of royal attitude about you, Janet."
"Attitude?" Janet asked, feeling pleased.
"You know. You're kind of bossy."

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #5: Lila's Secret Valentine

"Oh, Elizabeth, please forgive me. I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot. Why do you put up with me?" Todd moaned.
Elizabeth sighed and patted his shoulder.
Because you're such a snappy dresser," she said with a straight face.

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #10 The Year Without Christmas

"Can't we make this party formal?" Jessica asked. "It is Christmas eve, after all."
"Yeah, and it is a group of sixth-graders, after all," Steven said in a snobby tone. "When the clown shows up, make sure he's wearing a tuxedo, will you, Mother Dear?"
Elizabeth cracked up.
Jessica glared at her. Whose side was Elizabeth on anyway?

Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #11 Jessica's No Angel

"As I was trying to say, it's a gigantic picnic," Mr. Davis explained.
We'll have a large tent, and there will be a delicious buffet with food provided by a catering service."
"You mean it's not food from the cafeteria?" Winston interrupted. "Great- we can actually eat it!"

"As long as you're doing well in school, you've earned some new clothes," Mr. Wakefield said to Jessica.
"Then Elizabeth must have earned a ten-thousand-dollar shopping spree," Steven joked.
"I get A's too," Jessica told him.
"Sure. And there's water in the desert- once in a while," Steven said in a superior smile.
Jessica felt like leaping across the table and pinning Steven to the ground.

The Unicorn Club

The Unicorn Club #3 The Best Friend Game

"Look what I got for Mr. Clark!" Ellen held up a videotape. "This is the answer to all his problems."
"Must be a pretty long tape," Mandy joked. "What does it have on it, a complete makeover kit and a guide to a happy life?"

The Unicorn Club #5 Unicorns in Love!

"I wonder who'll get to play the vampire," Evie Kim said.
"It's going to be tough, since half of the boys in this school qualify," Mandy joked, rolling her eyes.
"The vampire doesn't necessarily have to be a boy," Mary said.
"True." Mandy nodded. "Hey Ellen, maybe that's the part for you. Let me see your fangs."

The Unicorn Club #11: Angels Keep Out

Jessica looked at her friends seriously. "And what we need is..."
"A plan," Kimberly broke in. "We need to let people know who we are. We have to show them that the Unicorns are the top club in Sweet Valley Middle School. And the easiest way to do that is...." she hesitated, her brow wrinkled in concentration.
"We could advertise ourselves!" Ellen suggested. "We could rent a billboard and put our pictures on it."
"And then what? Say, 'Call 1-800-UNI-CORN?'" Mandy laughed.

The Unicorn Club #13 Who Will be Miss Unicorn?

"Oh, Mandy! You missed my song!" Jessica breathed a heavy sigh as I set my tray down.
"I heard you when I came in, I assured Jessica. "The question is, why are you singing in the middle of lunch?"
"To ruin everybody's appetite?" Lila asked sweetly.

Sweet Valley High

Sweet Valley High #2: Secrets

I'm sure it'll turn out one way or another, Liz. Enid's hurting right now, and when people are hurt, they want someone to lash out at. Often it's someone they love.,." Mr. Collins said.
"Why is that?" Elizabeth asked.
"Because the people we love, who love us, are the ones who will forgive us later on when it blows over."

Sweet Valley High #10: Wrong Kind of Girl

"Liz is already a lot more sophisticated than I am," Jessica said. "So I think I need the New York trip the most."
"Jess," Elizabeth countered, "you are about as sophisticated as a mink coat."

Sweet Valley High #15: Promises

"Oh, wow! Can you believe it?" shrieked Jessica. "There I am."
"Where?" asked Elizabeth. "I can't find you."
"To the left of Winston, all the way by the wall." Jessica jumped off her seat and raced over to the TV. "See-there's the sleeve of my new dress." she said, pointing.
"Oh, yeah, imagine that. Your entire arm is on television," Elizabeth said unenthusiastically. "Congratulations Jess. Can I touch you?"

Sweet Valley High #36: Last Chance

Amy pulled a chair up to the table. "Hi, guys!" she greeted them. "I bet you're all wondering whether or not I'm still going to have a pre-dance party at my house next week, aren't you?"
Finally, Winston tore his eyes off Maria.
"Anticipation," he announced, "has us all breathless."

"I know you thought we forgot about you, Li, but we wanted to really and truly surprise you. It's hard to top the awesome bashes you throw at Fowler Crest, but this party's special because it's in honour of the beautiful, talented, one-in-a-million Lila Fowler, my best friend. - Jessica to Lila

Sweet Valley High #86: Jessica Against Bruce

"So, Bruce," Jessica said. "When are you going to let girls join?"
Amy backed Jessica up. "No fair making it boys only. What about equal rights and all of that?"

"Girls don't have what it takes," Bruce explained in his most condescending tone. "It's just a fact of nature."
"What exactly does it take?" Jessica snapped back. "A big mouth?"
Everyone except Bruce laughed.

Sweet Valley High #82 Kidnapped by the Cult!

"You don't need to run away to find love, Jessica," Sam persisted. "Stay with us. Stay with me. Let me prove to you how important you are to me. I promise you'll never feel alone and loved again."

Sweet Valley High #99 Beware the Babysitter

"I can see why they call her Daisy," Lila interrupted. "That's just what she looks like, with her cute little smile and all that strawberry-blond hair. But isn't that playsuit she's wearing kind of outdated?"

"I know, Lila," Maria agreed. "It was my little sister's, so it's nearly six years old. But Daisy only came up with three outfits, and we couldn't just keep washing them over and over again."
"This calls for a trip to the mall," Lila said.
"Doesn't everything?" Winston asked dryly.

Sweet Valley High #102: Almost Married

"That must've been the world's fastest shower, Wilkins. Are you sure you even got wet?" Ken kidded Todd in the boys' locker room.
Ken was on his way into the shower, Todd was already out and half-dressed. "Places to go and people to see, Ken," Todd quipped as he pulled his faded red polo shirt over his head. "Time waits for no man."
And neither does Elizabeth Wakefield, eh?"

Sweet Valley High #113: The Pom-Pom Wars

"Thanks for being so calm and sensible, Liz" Jessica gave her sister a spontaneous hug. "Where would I be without you?"
"Passed out or hyperventilating," Lila joked.
"Or both," said Amy.

Sweet Valley High #114 "V" for Victory

"We're going to win!" Jessica whispered excitedly to Lila
"La-di-da!" said Lila, twirling a red-and-white pom-pom in the air.
Jessica rolled her eyes. "You could at least pretend to be excited," she said.

"For example," said Heather. "I was hoping we could do the new hip-hop routine I've been working on. It's sure to bring the house down."
"Cool!" exclaimed Jade Wu. "We could add some neat dance steps."
"Yeah," said Annie, "It'll be like a rap video."
"MTV, here we come," said Sandy, drawing a general laugh.

Todd and Ken walked silently down the hallway.
"A real gentleman settles his arguments with words, not weapons," said Ken as soon as they safely turned the corner, imitating Mr. Cooper's deep, grave voice.
Todd stuck a finger in the air. "The lash of the tongue is mightier than the thrust of the sword!" he exclaimed.

"Now you boys have created quite a ruckus!" Ken went on in booming voice.
"For which the punishment is very grave," continued Todd.
"Ten years in the federal penitentiary!" said Ken.
"To be followed by death penalty!" added Todd.

Sweet Valley High #115 The Treasure of Death Valley

Bruce held a match under a paper, and the spark caught quickly. In minutes they had a robust fire.
"Great going, you guys. C'mon Heather, let's heat up by the fire," Ken said.
"How'd you get it to be that gorgeous orangey colour?" Heather asked.
"Vell you zee, vee added zome mageek fire dust, giving zee lovely glow you zee here," Todd faked a pathetic French accent.
"Give me a break," Elizabeth laughed.

Sweet Valley High #119: Jessica's Older Guy

"Jessica," Elizabeth asked. "Is it our destiny to bother Steven's neighbours?"
"Yes," Jessica said, her expression grim. "It is our solemn fate to disturb the peace of Steven and Billie's apartment."

"Were you trying to do an imitation of Rodin's The Thinker?" Todd asked as Ken walked into the living room.
Todd was sitting on the floor, a collection of slides spread out in front of him. Enid and Lila were setting out food on the coffee table.
Lila dropped a handful of forks with a loud clatter. "Todd," she asked, "did you just make a cultural reference?"
Enid giggled and Todd scowled. "Very funny, Lila," he said.

Sweet Valley High #138: What Jessica Wants

"Tonight Ms. Wakefield, you and I are taking Valley Mall by storm!" Lila declared, as though she were leading troops into battle.
Jessica laughed.
"No boutique is safe!" Lila proclaimed.
"When has any store ever been safe with Lila Fowler and her credit cards on the prowl?" Jessica said with a smirk.

Sweet Valley High #143: Party Weekend!

"Ok, let's figure out the theme," Olivia continued, addressing the group. "So far we have 'life's a beach', 'dancing out a dream', and 'good twin, evil twin'".
"Definitely the twin thing," Maria said. "We might as well cash in on our advantage."
Elizabeth shrugged. "I guess it's a good idea. But I'm not sure Jessica will like the evil-twin part," she added.
"If the label fits....," Lila quipped. The others laughed.

Sweet Valley High Magna Edition: A Night to Remember

"I've finally achieved it!" Jessica announced dramatically.
"Achieved what?" Elizabeth asked.
"The perfect tan," Jessica replied.
Elizabeth burst out laughing. "What a breakthrough-it's bound to make the evening news." she joked.

Sweet Valley High Magna Edition: The Evil Twin

"I'm not going to let you go, Liz" Todd whispered. "Not tonight-not ever."
"No," Elizabeth said softly. "Don't ever let me go."

Sweet Valley High Magna Edition: The Return of the Evil Twin

"I don't know if you all realize this, but I could hear everything that went on in the auditorium Monday morning, during my funeral," Jessica said.
"You're not going to let it go to your head, are you?" Lila asked. "We wouldn't want you to get stuck-up!"
Jessica raised her eyebrows. "I'll remember that," she promised. "Especially since it's coming from such an expert on the topic!"

Sweet Valley High Super Edition #1: Perfect Summer

"No! We're not risking one Patman at a time!" - Bruce (to his cousin Roger)

Sweet Valley High Super Edition #2: Special Christmas

"Liz!" Jessica shrieked, grabbing her sister's hand. "I've got a wonderful, wonderful idea!"
"She means terrible," Elizabeth told Steven. "Meet my twin sister, The Grinch."

Sweet Valley High Super Edition: Falling for Lucas

"So which number are you up to in the book?" Winston asked.
"Next comes Method Eighteen- snowboarding." Enid said.

"Do you think I need to make out a last will and testament?" Enid asked.
"That depends," Winston said. "Are you leaving anything to me?"
"I already gave you my lime green zinc oxide," Enid reminded him. "Some people are never satisfied."

Sweet Valley High Super Edition: Last Wish

On Bruce
"I don't know why we thought we could compete with this guy," Winston said. "After all, he's practically a high-school graduate and we're mere juniors- or should I say, rising seniors?"
Ken laughed. "Just be grateful we're not playing for money."
Bruce smirked.

Sweet Valley High Thriller Edition: A Killer on Board

"That's it, Dad!" Jessica said in an exasperated voice. "I can't take another second of this."
"Whatever do you mean?" her father asked.
"You've been smiling like a jack-o'-lantern from the moment you walked in the front door," Jessica told her father. "What's the big secret?"
Mr. Wakefield grinned more broadly. "I was going to wait to spring it to you after dessert."
"Spill it, Dad," Jessica urged. "Secrets were meant to be blabbed."
"Spoken by the one who knows," Elizabeth said with a smirk.

Sweet Valley High Thriller Edition: Murder in Paradise

"So this is your job?" Jessica asked. "Driving guests to and from the station?"
"That's part of my job," Chris replied. "I'm also the golf pro. Do you golf?"
Jessica considered golf the most boring sport on earth....until this moment.
"No, but I'm dying to learn," she told Chris, ignoring Elizabeth's "hmph" from the backseat.

Now Mrs. Mueller was staring at Alice, a rapt expression on her lopsided face. "The template of loveliness. You must be Alice Wakefield."
"Yes, I am.
Mrs. Mueller took Alice's hand. "Such a pleasure to welcome you, our special prize winner."
"It's a pleasure to be here," Mrs. Wakefield replied.
Meanwhile, Lila was whispering into Jessica's ear. "The template of loveliness? What the heck does that mean?" Jessica stifled a giggle.

Sweet Valley High Thriller Edition: R for Revenge

"Lighten up, Liz" Jessica said. "You're a disgrace to teenage girls everywhere."
Elizabeth shook her head in mock sadness. "I'm so embarrassed," she replied. "Does that mean I lose my membership in Boy Crazy Anonymous?"

Sweet Valley High Super Star #4: Olivia's Story

"I'll never give up my painting, I swear," Olivia breathed. "I don't care if I never have pearl earrings or nice clothes or a steady job. I might never make it as a painter but I'm going to try."

Sweet Valley High: Senior Year

Sweet Valley High: Senior Year #1: Can't Stay Away

"Cheerleading isn't our life, Liz" Jessica said. "How do you know we're not studying?"
"Are you?"
"No. We're talking about cheerleading," Jessica chirped.
Elizabeth rolled her eyes and laughed.

"I hate when you do this." Tia's eyebrows formed a straight line over her eyes.
"Do what?"
"Completely ignore perfectly good gossip. Fail to laugh at any of my jokes."
Conner smiled. "Sorry, Tee. Could you just hold up your hand or something at the parts where I'm supposed to laugh?"

Sweet Valley High: Senior Year #3: So Cool

"Megan!" Elizabeth yelled at the top of her lungs. "Have you seen my mascara?"
Conner walked into the bathroom and smirked. "I borrowed it. Sorry."
Elizabeth blushed. "What?" Conner said. "It makes my eyes stand out. That's important, you know." Elizabeth laughed.

"Hey, Liz," Tia said distractedly. "You sure you put them all up?" she asked Andy.
"Positive," Andy said.
"Put what up?" Elizabeth asked.
"Flyers for Conner's gig," Tia said. "You're coming, right?"
"I don't think so, Tia," Elizabeth said. "It's not my scene."
"Come on, Liz, it'll be fun!" Tia shoved a flyer at her. "He's really good- wait'll you hear him."
"Oh, I've heard him," Elizabeth muttered.
"That's right!" Tia said. "I keep forgetting you guys, like, live right on top of each other."

Sweet Valley High: Senior Year #4: I've Got a Secret

"Making millions of dollars and having successful women chase you all over the country is highly stressful, Tia." Andy said dryly. "Conner will explain it to you one day."
"Yeah, right," Conner said grinning.

Sweet Valley High: Senior Year #7: Boy Meets Girl

The light behind Jessica's eyes switched to high beam. "You know...you're right," she said softly.
"Hey, don't sound so surprised," Elizabeth laughed. "I'm always right."
"Well, I wouldn't go that far," Jessica said with a smirk.

Sweet Valley High: Senior Year#8: Maria Who?

Maria looked back and forth between Tia and Jessica, biting her lip, and then she smiled. "That would be great," she answered. "You guys are the best."
"We keep telling everybody that, but no one seems to believe us," Tia said dryly.
"Go figure," Jessica said in mock astonishment. Maria laughed.

"Hey- how long have we been here, man?" Angel asked.
Andy consulted his watch. "Twenty long minutes," he answered, dragging out each syllable.

Sweet Valley High: Senior Year #27: Playing Dirty

"Hey!" Rebecca exclaimed. "Congratulations on the big win."
"Yeah, it was a great game, wasn't it?" Tia asked, looking from Andy and Dale and back again.
"Oh, yes. Football at its most brilliant," Andy joked. "Wouldn't you say so, Dale?"
"I agree. The best example of head bashing I've seen in a long time," Dale deadpanned.

Sweet Valley High: Senior Year #34: Troublemaker

"The 1950s were the coolest decade," Trent declared. "Elvis Presley, Hula Hoops, backyard barbecues, I Love Lucy..."
"...Segragation, McCarthyism, fear of nuclear war," Jeremy added, nodding along in mock agreement.
Tia laughed. "Oh, yeah. Those were the good times."

"Can you believe those drills today?" Trent asked. "Man, I'm all for getting into prime shape. But that guy is borderline wacko."
"Unlike you, a certified wacko," Jeremy joked.

Sweet Valley University

Sweet Valley University Thriller Edition #3: Kiss of the Vampire

"Hey! Look at this! What if I got a bunch of little pillows and piled them up on my bed, like this?" Jessica held up her magazine so Elizabeth could see the picture. "That is so cool, don't you think?"
"Jessica, you're forgetting something very important," Elizabeth said, sitting back and piling her pillows behind her.
"What?"
"That effect only works when people can actually see the bed itself. In your case, it would be a waste of time,"



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